A F U L L Y Surrendered Heart
Our theme for this month is L O V E, which is a touchy subject for me. The word "love" has been tainted throughout my life. It was not until I got into my 20’s that I was able to FINALLY understand what it means to LOVE and what love is.
You might be thinking, “Cynthia wait, haven’t you been saved for 12 years and have been involved in ministry throughout high school.” You are absolutely correct, but that does not mean that I truly comprehended what love was or even fully have surrendered my heart in the way that the Lord describes. We as humans have really distorted the meaning the word "love". My father as a child attributed his love for me through buying me things. My mom’s love was only shown if I acted as the perfect child that she wanted me to be. Teachers, if I made the grade. Cousins, if I disrespected my family and acted like them. These were the attributes that I associated with Love. This is how I receive love, and this truly what love is.
When I got older I slowly began to further understand what AGAPE love is or the love of God. This last season of my life my depression exacerbated, but the more that I am going through my problems, the more I have been on my knees in prayer asking the Lord to bring me through this pain and agony. Over the last month, the Lord has pruned me and molded me to be able to be dependent on him and trust in him despite my circumstances.
In the midst of all of this, I have realized that I have had more peace in knowing that God has all of this rather than trying to depend on my own strength. A fully surrendered heart is being able to trust the love that God has for you rather than being dependent on your own love for God. Your love for God should not be based on what you have done, but because of His love for you. It is amazing that all God asks from us is to fully surrender our lives to Him. He gave His only son, which is the most precious gift that we could ever receive so in return we must fully surrender everything that we have.
You may have a broken, callused, and bruised heart; you may have a heart that is made out of stone and you may be angry, but despite how you feel in regards to your adequacy when you pray to the Lord about your circumstances, realize that He asks for all of you not just the good part of you. Not just the good days, and not the bad days. Realize that He wants to carry you through, and be the one to carry your heart first before anything and anyone. As you take the next step and start fully giving your heart to Christ rather than being dependent on your circumstances, and what you are used to, you will find yourself to be at a peace even in the middle of your storm.