3 Tips For Dating Somebody With Depression
As I am going into a 4 month relationship with my loving boyfriend Johnny Fernandes, I have learned so much about myself and how to love someone unconditionally. Learning love is putting the needs of someone else before yours and learning to love them for who they are. Just as Christ does for us. When being in love with someone who struggles with anxiety and depression, there are a few important things to keep in mind:
1. Being patient with them
Some days are better than others. It is just understanding the difference from when they are acting and responding from a clear headspace or from a clouded one. Having a loving and understanding answer will communicate to them that you care for them. That even though they are struggling, your love for them never changes.
2. Listen to their needs and how they need to be loved.
For someone to communicate how they feel and what they need to feel loved is a very vulnerable thing. Acting upon on how your partner feels and how they need to be loved speaks volumes to them. I am a very physical touch person and sometimes John is not. With my understanding of that, I try to be aware of myself and how he feels in the moment as well. I am not perfect at it, but by putting my needs aside speaks that I care for him and his well being.
3. You don’t have to have a solution
As John is someone who struggles with mental health, it was really hard for me to know what he needed from me. Most of the time I would blame myself is he was upset and thought it was something I did. Which was rarely ever true. I am a fixer, so I thought it was my job to help fix all his problems. That wasn’t my job. My job is to love him unconditionally and walk this journey of life with him by his side. You wont always have the solution and that is okay. Just being there for them means more than you know.
Learning to love unconditionally is hard work, but worth every moment of it. Just because a person struggles with mental heath does not mean they don’t deserve love. When the right person comes along, they will not hesitate to put the time and effort in. because that person is worth everything to them. This journey continues to show how Christ loves me and it is beautiful!